I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
