well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
