Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
