Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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