how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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