So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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