There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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