I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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