I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
