I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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