i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
