Just cropdusted the office
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize