Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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