Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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