Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
