the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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