we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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