Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You smell like stripper and shame
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
