I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
