I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
