And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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