You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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