i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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