I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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