Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
