Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
