Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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