I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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