just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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