I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
no you cant smoke seaweed
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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