I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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