Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i need some magic done to my vagina
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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