OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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