At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
