He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
