Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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