saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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