guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
do nipples grow back?
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