I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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