So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
they need to just BURY HIM!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
