just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so much tequila, so little girl.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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