I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
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Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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