This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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