no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
