its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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