I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
try to milk me bitch
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