So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
