could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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