Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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