so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize