y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
