uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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