Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
