My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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