May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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