can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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