Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize