forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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