Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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