conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize