I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can I color on your dick again?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
