Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
