is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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