The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
